Here's a list of some of the books I've used in developing my series of Resonance Repatterning sessions for Relationships.    It's hard to say which of these are more valuable!  I offer them to you so that you may experience a richer connection with others.

John Gottman, PhD

What's great about John Gottman's work is that they observed couples in action and followed through with how effective strategies worked.  Sometimes I get a little annoyed with how they ask the wife to capitulate (what seems to me even further) when she's dealing with a husband who, IMO, has already mucked up.  This does, however, go to their point that men and women are different, behave differently, interpret things differently, expect different things, etc.  And part of it is understanding this and that the men are being asked to stretch (in their own way) as well.  

Harville Hendrix, Phd 

OK, so I don't know him personally or anything, but I feel like somehow I'm in the same archetypal milieu.  There's a 'jungian' type feel which I enjoy.  And he's also very nuts and bolts practical.  Wonderful illumination and approach to healing.

Harriet Lerner

Funny!  Funny, funny, funny.  You cry and you laugh it's so, so true.  And it helps.  More good stuff about how to navigate the tough feelings and situations.

Bruce Lipton & Rob Williams

This goes to finding out what fuel you're adding to the fire and how to stop that!  (and as a shameless plug, you can also take advantages of my services in this area. )

Mira Kirschenbaum

For those who are confused about what to do, this is a fabulous book.  She's got a wonderful 'diagnostic' for how to know when to stay put and work through it, be cautiously optimistic, or run like the wind!  From her years of experience as a therapist, she tells you what others have experienced by staying or by leaving the various situations.  So when she says something like, no-one who stayed in this situation was happy about it, you know, it's time to blow that pop-stand.  When she tells you, folks who stayed in it and worked through this were happy, you know, you've got a chance.  

When I read this book, I started out with questions.  "hmmm.... this could be the situation I'm in. hmmm.... this could be the situation I'm in.   hmmm... maybe it's this one."  I'll tell you what happened.  I got to a certain chapter and as I read, all the sudden my whole body flushed.  It wasn't a question any more!  I now knew what I was dealing with and what my odds were.  According to this book, mine were grime.

I relied on Reiki, Resonance Repatterning, and Psych-K to turn things around.  It was a bit of a 'no-hope' scenario but I'm stubborn!  Also, I realized, I'm with my husband because some part of me figured this was the best shot I had at the most healing -- which is a glossed-over one-liner of what Harville Hendrix says, and I also believe, like Dr. Phil says, 'unless you're in danger, you can't leave until you're neutral.'   Otherwise you just carry around baggage.  And things are really good now.

So if you have some of the extra-ordinary tools at your disposal, you may be able to turn around scenarios she calls hopeless.  If you don't, you now know it's time to high tail it out of town.  And if you find out you have a workable situation, you now have the peace of mind to stay.  Either way, you can move on with your life and not get stuck in a relationship no-man's land.  Fabulous.

Sue Ellen Page

Sonaya Roman

Sonaya's approach is one of working with the flow of the Universe. In some ways it's less tangible and more philosophical. She does ask the hard questions, too.  And yet these books are upbeat and comforting.  There is a sense that things will work out.

 

Terry Cole Whittaker

OK, these are oldies.  Historical maybe.  When I read them, they seemed like God-sent.  

Feng Shui

You may be thinking, "what...?" So let me answer that question.

Sometimes having a conversation just isn't going to happen. Sometimes you've had a thousand conversations and nothing seems to be changing. Sometimes you just want to decorate!

In any of those cases, Feng Shui to the rescue!

If you don't care to read a whole lot, get something pink and put it in the far right corner (the one on the right side of the wall across from the way you came into the room) of every room in your house.

I did this with several rooms and also placed some drapes strategically and painted some beams. Viola! Instant better. And others noticed it, too, when they walked in. Even though they couldn't peg what it was, they noticed they felt somehow more comfy.

(OK, were you clever and realized some rooms have more than one entry? If so, you may just have to read!)

John Gray, Phd

Dr. Phil McGraw